AMB Writes

1. Paragraph 4: The detail made me feel as though I was there. That I could taste and smell all the same things, that it evoked the same feelings. Paragraph 6: You could add more detail about the relationship you had with the owner, more than just him bringing a coffee and donut – if there was one beyond that. You could also add more detail about the people who frequented the shop, a specific memory – to help support the idea of the shop and its customers being like a family. Could you tell us how long you lived above that shop.
2. Primarily Scene: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9 Primarily Summary: 1, 7, 8, 10
3. The main message seems to be how a particular food can make a place feel like home, and be comforting in that sense. Home is the place you always go back to, and the donuts are a reason to do so, allowing a connection to form with your children. Paragraph 8 contains some lines that show the emotional significance of the food or place. Paragraph 6 where you describe the owner occasionally bringing you treats, implies something significant.
4. The essay seems to have no specific timeline, intertwining memories and details after the time you first moved in, with no reference to a specific time. And at the end it jumps forward, to a time when you had children. It has a beginning and ending, with a sort of what happened in the middle. My attention was grabbed from the beginning; how many people get to say that they lived above a donut shop. The detail of the way the donuts smelt or might have tasted, lured me in again and again.
5. That the scene was set from the beginning, and the detail afterward only served to pull you in more. Making you feel as though it was something you’d want yourself. This article being about food, I like how much detail was put in about the taste and smell.

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