- Paragraph 4: The detail made me feel as though I was there. That I could taste and smell all the same things, that it evoked the same feelings. Paragraph 6: You could add more detail about the relationship you had with the owner, more than just him bringing a coffee and donut – if there was one beyond that. You could also add more detail about the people who frequented the shop, a specific memory – to help support the idea of the shop and its customers being like a family. Could you tell us how long you lived above that shop.
- Primarily Scene: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9 Primarily Summary: 1, 7, 8, 10
- The main message seems to be how a particular food can make a place feel like home, and be comforting in that sense. Home is the place you always go back to, and the donuts are a reason to do so, allowing a connection to form with your children. Paragraph 8 contains some lines that show the emotional significance of the food or place. Paragraph 6 where you describe the owner occasionally bringing you treats, implies something significant.
- The essay seems to have no specific timeline, intertwining memories and details after the time you first moved in, with no reference to a specific time. And at the end it jumps forward, to a time when you had children. It has a beginning and ending, with a sort of what happened in the middle. My attention was grabbed from the beginning; how many people get to say that they lived above a donut shop. The detail of the way the donuts smelt or might have tasted, lured me in again and again.
- That the scene was set from the beginning, and the detail afterward only served to pull you in more. Making you feel as though it was something you’d want yourself. This article being about food, I like how much detail was put in about the taste and smell.
Sunshine Amongst the Clouds – Draft
When thinking back on my childhood there are a lot of things that I can’t smile at. Memories that I don’t wish to revisit or remember with fondness. But a few that stick out as better, happier; they were sunshine amongst the rainclouds of the others. Those were the ones that made my childhood feel […]
Food With Meaning
Here is a list of food, whether they be individual items or a whole dish that has had some significance in my life. Accompanied is my way of showing how it is, they are significant.
Are We Growing Right?
“Corn Tastes Better on the Honor System”, is a written piece that seems to be a combination of a personal essay and an article. Interwoven throughout the facts about corn, are the author’s own personal experiences or examples – details that she has gathered from her own culture, the Indigenous way of life, and how […]
Which Milk Is Best?: TED Talk VS Own Thoughts
Presented is a question many have asked – which milk is best. One that with so much debate and many answers, can be confounding. It was the aim of the TED talk – by the same name – not just to answer said question, but to alleviate people’s confusion as well. The answer(s) were presented […]
A Passionate Reader
Ever since I was young, I’ve been an avid reader. I always had to have a book with me, no matter where I was or what I was doing. Whether I was at the doctor’s office, the grocery store, in school in the middle of class, or even at a party, I had a book […]